Lost Dreamer
by clarabella wandering
Summary: "In which Reyna knows a soldier should never daydream, but gives into the nonsense anyway." Written for Anti-Valentines Day.


_**Hello. Enjoy this fanfic :). Clarification: Set before Jason leaves, and before Reyna and Jason become praetors. Please forgive any spelling or grammar errors.**_

_**Author: **__Everyone's a Mortal._

**_Title:_**_ Lost Dreamer._

**_Summary:_**_ "In which Reyna knows a soldier should never daydream, but gives into the nonsense anyway."_

* * *

_"They say there's no harm in daydreaming, but there is."  
__**~Charlaine Harris.**_

_"Never allow someone to  
be your priority  
while allowing yourself  
to be their option."  
__**~Mark Twain.**_

* * *

_**Lost Dreamer.**_

_By __**Everyone's a Mortal.**_

* * *

Reyna sighs. The sheer boredom of dusting is getting to her, but she's helping Genevieve, so that's the upside. Bored, Reyna sings a song she learned from her sister, Hylla, _"Aye, yai, yai yai, canta, no llores. Por que, cantando, se alegra... cielito lindo, loz corazones."_

She can't help smile at how happy the praetor will be when she sees Reyna's cleaning job. It's Genevieve's last year as praetor (she's seventeen), and because new recruits keep pouring in, she and Adam are busy.

"Hello?" A voice asks. From the top of the stairs, Reyna peeks down, and catches a glimpse of a blond head of hair.

"Crap," Reyna whispers. She doesn't want to deal with Octavian, not now. The young soldier suddenly wishes she hadn't chosen this day to surprise her favorite praetor.

The boy turned just as Reyna decided to peek out again. Her breath caught in her throat as he scarcely missed seeing her. The blond boy was not Octavian...

It was Jason Grace.

* * *

There is one person Reyna decidedly hates more than Octavian, and that is Jason Grace. Her eyes go wide and she blushes, wishing that Jupiter boy didn't make her feel so giddy.

Her thoughts wander to scenarios where Jason sees her, and runs up the stairs, twirling her. His forehead is against hers and he whispers... "Reyna..."

Stuck in her daydream, Reyna dreamily responds, "Yes?"

"Reyna!"

The girl looks up from her post against the stairway. She bumps her head on the hard wood, and meets the eyes of Jason, grinning sheepishly. He slowly smirks back at her, his eyes twinkling with amusement. Holding out his hand, she reaches for it, memories of when they first met ringing in her mind.

It had been a year ago, so they had been thirteen. She caught him looking at her on the battlefield, and he mouthed to her, _hi. _

Reyna smiled everyday when she replayed that memory. They had had a secret conversation afterwards, and that's when their friendship started. She was so thankful that she had overcome her shyness and said hello.

Now Jason and she were eye to eye, and her heart thumped.

"What are you doing here?" Jason asked, finally letting go of her. Reyna was thoroughly disappointed.

"I... could ask you the same thing." She responded, her eyes dancing.

Jason smiled, "Adam sent me here. Said a friend was cleaning."

"Ah."

They locked eyes a moment longer. Something passed between them, and later on, when Reyna reviewed it with a broken heart, she decided it had all been her imagination.

* * *

"What's wrong, Genevieve?"

The older girl glanced at Reyna, her eyes full of heartbreak. "I don't like you and Jason going off and visiting that spirit."

Reyna smiled, feeling slightly weird that she, a fourteen-year-old, was comforting a seventeen-year-old praetor, "My sister said to go there. I must go. Jason is good protection. He will watch my back."

Genevieve raised a brow, "Not too well, I hope."

"Shut up."

* * *

Reyna watched the clouds roam by as the road on their large Roman eagle. Jason was up front, doing his Jupiter thing. The Ballona girl turns, her eyes resting on his muscled arms and calm expression. She began wondering what would happen if Jason and she stopped dancing.

Maybe he'd glance at her and blush, then get up and slowly make his way towards her, lie down, so they were face to face. And then he'd lean in close to her, and their faces would be red and their palms sweaty, hearts fast, but that would be okay. Because that meant it was real.

Or maybe Jason would whisper, oh so softly, "I love you, Reyna." And think she wouldn't hear but then she would.

Or maybe... maybe...

"Reyna!" Jason yelled into the wind.

Her head shot up, "What? Huh?" In her sudden movement, she forgot they were on a flying creature, and found herself falling down, tumbling and screaming, to caught up in panic to think of doing anything. The earth would kill her in three... two... one...

"Reyna?"

She opened her eyes. She and Jason were floating in midair, the ground a hundred feet below them. The eagle had landed safely. Reyna locked eyes with the blond boy, a slow blush creeping onto her cheeks. "Reyna, you okay?"

She wanted to kiss him. But she kept her cool, "I... yes. Thank you."

Jason smiled as they landed, "Hey, you're my best friend. I would do anything for you." He looked around and then said, "We're here. Go find that spirit Hylla told you about."

* * *

Before she knew it, she was having tea. Reyna held back from the goodies Venus had, afraid she'd fatten up. Venus blabbered a hello, then touched Reyna's hand, bringing her back to life.

"Reyna, honey. I need to talk to you." Her voice was soft, and Reyna became aware. "A-about Jason."

"Jason? What?" Reyna asked. She forgot her worries, and felt her heart speed up. She imagined him waiting for her, picking up a flower and pricking off the petals, sighing, _she loves me, she loves me not..._

"Yes, dear. He'll never love you." Venus said. She seemed to be trying to break it as gently as she could, but the blow hit Reyna hard. She couldn't speak, she couldn't breathe. Tears pooled in her eyes, and her heart split in two. It was one thing to guess for herself, but here was the love goddess saying Jason would never love her.

Venus looked away, "I'm sorry, darling. I really am. But your fates are not aligned. He's to be with someone else, a fair demigod with powers of beauty."

Reyna felt her anger stir, "So you're letting a daughter of yours claim him?"

Venus looked at her shoes, "My dear, I do not cause people to fall in love. I simply create the story. Two people fall in love by their own accord. Jason thinks he loves you. He doesn't. I'm saving you heartbreak. Walk away from him. This is why Hylla told you to come."

Reyna looked at Venus. She yanked her hand away. "He is my best friend."

"He will endure many hardships, my young one." Venus said, "And so will you. But unlike him, you must endure these alone. I am sorry."

Reyna shook her head, and got up. Heartbroken, she ran back to Jason. On the way there, she imagined him hugging her and kissing her cheek, a thing that he had never done before. But halfway there, she stopped running.

She stood still, wiping her tears. Reyna knew Venus was right. She was the love goddess, after all. So, in that moment, Reyna made a decision. She cleared her face of all emotion as she neared Jason, held her head high, and straightened her back.

"Reyna." Jason breathed out when he saw her. "How'd it go?"

Reyna looked at him, soaking in the last time he'd ever truly smile at her. He stopped smiling when he saw her gaze. "Reyna?"

"It went fine, Grace. Let us go."

Her heart broke even more when he stared at her, looking equally broken.

* * *

Genevieve held Reyna in her arms as the girl cried. "Shh, it's okay. You'll just find someone else. You and Jason just weren't mean to be."

This just made her cry harder.

Finally growing tired of holding Reyna, Genevieve pulled away, "Reyna, sweety. Look at me." The girl obeyed; "You are Roman. You can be tough. I know it. Now darling, a word of advice. Get him out of your head. And your heart."

"I... I'm trying..."

"I mean all thoughts of him. Stop daydreaming." Genevieve scolded. Then her face softened, "heartbreak is never easy. But you can go through this. I promise you. Will you stop daydreaming?"

Reyna sniffled. When she looked up at Genevieve, she held the stare everyone in New Rome would come to know and fear.

"I will."

* * *

Reyna had not dreamed in a long time. But there came one evening when she was walking across the street, and she caught the head of a blond boy. He turned and saw her, waving. Reyna nodded back, hoping against hope that he'd come towards her.

He did not.

Reyna bit her lip, keeping her face stony even after Jason was gone. She had pushed him away. It was her fault they were just friends and not best friends. But her mind wandered for the first time in months, and Reyna let it.

She and he were dressed in fancy clothes, sitting on a coach, being pulled around by Genevieve's pegasus, the praetor's dogs, Argentum and Aurum, sitting by Reyna. Jason leaned in, and Reyna imagined his lips against her as the horse neighed...

"Reyna!" Someone shoved Reyna off the road, and when she turned, Reyna caught sight of a girl's figure lying there. The Bellona girl recognizes the purple praetor cape, and her breath catches in her throat. The coachman calms down his horse, asking if the figure is okay, but Reyna ignores him.

Running towards the figure, Reyna screams, "Genevieve!" Reaching the figure, she kneels, her eyes watering. "Genevieve, no... no, no, no, no... not you... not you..." She sobs, and Genevieve smiles dimly.

"Reyna Avila Ramirez-Arellano," the dying praetor says, "What did I tell you about daydreaming?"

Reyna sobs, screaming until her voice is raw, "Not you! Genevieve, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I won't do it again. Please. No."

"My will is in my closet."

"No. I can't lose you, Genevieve..." Reyna cradles the praetor, who unhooks her cape, then drapes it gently on Reyna.

"I want you to take my place."

"You can't leave."

"Silly girl," Genevieve says, "Oh, I love you. Tell Adam I love him too. I'm sorry."

"No..." Reyna chokes. "There's still so much we have to do. You and I were going to plan my Quinceniera together. I was going to be your maid of honor for your wedding." The praetor didn't answer. Reyna began to shake. "Genevieve?"

But, see, the praetor was dead. Reyna held her hand to the dead girl's cheek, and screamed. She screamed till her throat was raw. She had lost too many people, too many. She had suffered too much heartbreak, but losing Genevieve... Reyna slung the purple cape over the two of them, hugging Genevieve's breathless body.

The coachman tried to move her, but Reyna resisted. Sometime in the night, Argentum and Aurum came to sleep next to their dead mistress, and they kept Reyna warm.

* * *

"But I can't be praetor." Reyna insists.

"Neither can I," Jason agrees.

Adam sighs, "Reyna, Genevieve's last words said to make you praetor. The coachman heard it. He also saw her place her cape on you. It's on you, whether you can do it or not. I'm sorry."

At the mention of Genevieve's name, Reyna's stony expression cracked slightly. Adam turns to Jason, "And, Jason, I'm resigning. You got the popular vote." He glances at both of them. "It's your job now. I'm sorry."

Reyna's bottom lip quivers so slightly, Adam barely catches it. He smiles at her, "In her will, she said she wanted you to have her pegasus, and the dogs. She said she loved you."

"She said she loved you, too." Reyna responds.

The air is silent. Finally Jason nods, "I'll do it."

"As will I." Reyna says. Adam smiles. As he leaves, he nods to them, "Praetors."

"Adam." They respond. When he's gone, Reyna and Jason turn to each other and shake hands.

"It'll be nice working with you, Reyna," Jason smiles.

Reyna doesn't smile. Her handshake is firm, her eyes expressionless. "And you too, Grace."

They go to their separate houses, and the two gold and silver dogs meet Reyna at the door. In her house, it's empty except for trunks of Reyna's things. She plops down on the same stairway where Genevieve held her when she cried over Jason.

Looking up, Reyna lets her mask drop, and begins to sob. There will be no more good days for Reyna Avila Ramirez-Arellano, she decides.

"I will never daydream again." She swears to the ceiling, "and I will never daydream about Jason again. I do not love him. I will not love him. I dreamt my emotions for him up, and I can throw it away."

But as the house doesn't answer, Reyna cries again. Deep inside her soul, she knows she'll daydream again.

She know she is lying.


End file.
